I told my children recently that when you walk into someone’s house and it is grand try to look into their eyes and not overdo the ‘wow, your house is friggin’ huge’. If they are nice rich people make sure you tell them their house is lovely. If they are mean rich snobs comment on a small – very small – vase of simple flowers only and then ask them what their sign is. When they say ‘do you like my indoor pool?’ Say ‘what is your favourite colour?’ It might kill them but it will be good for them.
I went to a dinner party recently and the couple was just dying for us to ask for a tour of their newly renovated house. I am trying to be more generous so I said “please can I have a tour of your newly renovated house”. Inside I am thinking if I have to look at one more walk in closet out of SATC (Sex and the City- have you been asleep) and fabulous ensuite bathroom with dappled afternoon light and a look that says no one uses it, I might scream. Sometimes I feel I still live in a college dorm. Keeps me young, though.
It is not that I don’t like this stuff- I love it. I just never got the memo that says it is at the top of the list.
The tour was riveting but the finale was superb. In the master bedroom – all ooohs and ahhhs over millwork and blah blah blah – all eyes turned to a pair of undies -not fresh and sunny side up- that just did not quite make it into the hamper.
Human, after all. Even with the wainscoting, jacuzzi and room for a pony.
NB after my hugely successful book comes out and I have a walk in closet and a eucalyptus steam room, I promise I will still be me.