I did that long swim I love to do just now
I love the feeling of the cold smooth water
And being totally alone
and able to think about everything
and nothing
but on the way back the wind was strong and waves were tough
slapping me in the face
relentlessly
like a problem that won’t leave me alone
I started to cry
because that is what we do when there is no distraction
and no one around
but crying and swimming is hard
so I lay on my back
and let it go.
Friends in a house as old as mine whose original windows, now replaced with new ones,were mainly painted shut except for one important one that could open but needed to be held open with a hockey stick for otherwise it would slam down with the force of a guillotine.
Little girl turns to grannie and says” How old are you?” Grannie says she is so old she does not remember. Little girl says- “if you have forgotten just look in the back of your panties. Mine say five to six”
Here is an interesting thing; When you meet someone who is split and they look perfectly fine and they seem loveable and whole on the surface and then they talk ever so little but just enough or maybe a lot about their split you do this thing
and it the craziest thing
but you can’t help it
you think- what is wrong with this person that they could not make it work, that they could not sustain it, feed it, nurture it, save it ?
And yet you cannot imagine anyone thinking that of you because you know you are loveable and good and whole and healthy.
But in their quiet they wonder it too.
But in the next moment you realize how we are all the same.