“city life, busy life on the street” art studio for children
” Sit down, Shut up and Pay Attention”
I need to work on this
I find happiness is not really in style. If you choose it – and it has nothing to do with having perfect anything-you better shut up about it. Click here for things you’ll be damned for saying- which is precisely why they are so much fun to say
I take a shortcut to relieve my guilt from not seeing my father more by telling myself that he would want me to work as hard as I do and that after all that work I should do something for me that represents life. That I should see friends and be a good mother and exercise and learn and expose myself to new things. And maybe sleep.
But a few days can go by and I forget to think about him and I forget to remember who he was.
I heard about a son whose father was dying, going to visit him every day. He read him books and held his hand and talked to him. His dad had cancer but his mind was alive.
I am ashamed that I don’t see him every day. I can’t seem to fit it all in . I try so hard to. Also I can’t see that my dad is dying. It is more like he is shrinking and fading like an image that is getting faint and blurry. All that he was is slowly, painfully slowly, fading away.
He was funny
He was loveable
He was hard to love
He was great to live with
He was hard to live with
He was hot-tempered
He was loud
He was good
He was bad
He was hardworking
He only emptied the dishwasher once
He loved food. Loved food.
He could only cook western sandwiches and hot dogs
He was relentless
He loved life
He teased always
He loved to swim
He loved to laugh hard.
He exercised every morning at 5
He was happy
He was wise
He was a good friend
He was difficult
He was tough
He was quietly proud
He is few of those things anymore. But it does not feel like dying. I am no expert but it feels worse.
When I don’t see you, dad- I can pretend that you are who you were. When I see you it tears away at that. It is very hard to surrender that old image to the new one.
Of all the advice we wanted to give our daughters this week, as they celebrate their graduation from high school, the one I kept coming back to was to be a life pig.
For me, this means sayng yes to life and all it offers
overstuff, overdo, overlove
Throw yourself in, get dirty, get messy, roll around in the mud
do not sit in the sidelines and wait for things to happen
don’t be too polite
don’t wait for someone to tell you it is your turn
love people deeply and show them always
be a good friend to others and yourself
work hard and play hard
put yourself- your real self -in the middle of everything you do
be fully engaged in all that life offers