six degrees of separation

When you separate everyone at some point will try to convince you to try on line dating. My mother, of all people, sent me a site  a while back and said -‘you should give it a whirl’ .

It is very peculiar but highly efficient- if your idea of death is wearing leather pants and feisty animal prints and perching yourself high up on a bar stool as you twist and wink and smile coyly at every single thing with a pee pee that comes into the room-this is another option. You can work, sleep, travel, go to the dentist  while this dating machine  does the winking for you.

Here the premise is simple- you find a picture of yourself that is good, true but not too good. You answer some questions or write a description of yourself and what you love to do- an experience that is both self revealing and freaky. Then you post it while you blush. Then you run from the computer.

Days later, when you get up the nerve, you open up your messages from said site and you shiver. Suddenly all these strange men in my kitchen. Where my children eat. And do math.

Not necessarily from experience, and not necessarily not from experience, I would say the following takes the experience of on line dating to a dark and sombre place-

1. You are matched with your ex husband

2. You find the person you are currently dating is there, “shopping” and is matched with you

3. You are matched with your brother’s best friend

4. You are matched with your single brother

5. You are matched with your grade 5 History teacher. Who used to be a woman.

6. You are matched with your father’s old business partner

7. You come up with zero matches

Other moments that are a little disconcerting-

1. Being matched with someone whose picture includes their mother

2. Being matched with someone whose profile shows an up close picture of themselves and a camel, a person of the cloth, or a large  teddy bear.

3. Being matched with someone whose online moniker is 911 after their Porsche, who claims to model in their spare time when they are not running large multinational conglomerates or saving the rainforest. Methinks……

4. Even if you never say “hey I like moustaches” (who likes these? please help me on this) every other guy will likely have one, his name will be Youssef, Ari, Yentyl, Bernie or Gus and you may question whether he was your cab driver the other day.

Anyway, give it a whirl. 100’s and 1000’s of people meet there soul mates on line every minute  of every day and twice on Wednesdays.

more tales from the dark side of dating on my other site-click here

4 thoughts on “six degrees of separation

  1. When I was a ‘smug married’ I used to scoff at or speak in hushed tones about people who had to ‘resort’ to the internet to find a date. When I met my ex in the early 1980s of course we were young and options seemed endless.
    Once resingle, I finally did resort to the internet. I was NOT going to a bar and worked with children…
    I have to say it was a wonderful experience. I met some great men who became at worst good stories to tell my friends and more often than not became my friends. One, in fact, became my forever friend and we married in 2007! But shhhhhhhhh, don’t tell anyone. Everyone at our wedding thinks we met at a coffee shop! 🙂

    • so true- I often said “broken family” and now I am in one, in effect. Life attempts to teach us so much.
      It would be good for the soul of our readers to hear about some of these dates and/or maybe how you came to fall in love again.

  2. I just went online in search of a partner. It requires a thick skin and a very good bullshit meter. I’m just hoping I have both.

    • lilith-it would be wonderful to hear about yout online searches and experiences-if you wanted to share your stories and insights I am sure my readers would love to read about it!
      So very true about the thick skin and bullsit meter! And yet so important to keep the heart open and save a little innocence too.

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