if it is not growing, it is dying

Woody Allen, although clearly an odd guy to quote on relationships, famously said “A man marries a woman hoping she will never change, a woman marries a man hoping he will change. She changes, he doesn’t and both are disappointed.” *

This has some truth. For some reason, women need change and things moving all the time, fresh ideas, new hobbies, change at work, change at play. Men seem to be more content with that warm meal, warm body and maybe the odd new toy with wheels.

But to keep things alive, it must be fed, nurtured and cultivated- it is not enough that it is just not dying- because in the end if it is not growing, it is  going in the other direction.

A good friend once said to me “all marriages have good years and bad years” I thought she was so mature. There was nothing whiny about this or even regretful. It just is.

However  a bad year of marriage which is not handled properly cannot be resuscitated. It can never be recovered from, never fixed. The goodness cannot be restored. If things swing too far in one direction, they just can’t come back.

So how do we know when it is not growing?

If it is standing still.

*this does not include all my fabulously  highly evolved male friends, relatives and readers of this blog.

If you lie down with dogs, you get fleas.Read about friendship on my other blog by clicking here