Towards the end of my marriage, vulnerability scared the wits out of me. I felt there was much others knew before me, I felt a loss of control of my own life, and I tried everything to make myself avoid vulnerability.
Over the last 4 years – I have found myself excited and fascinated by my own vulnerability. The more I put myself out there in my work and personal life, the more I have felt a feeling that I am alive. If something scares me then I chose to do it. If I am afraid of rejection, I pushed and continue to push myself to allow that possibility. If I am afraid of loss of the privacy I so cherished when I was married, then I work to expose myself. if I was worried about criticism, then I try to open myself up to it.
The more I did these things the more I felt my own power. The more I allowed myself to be vulnerable to failure, rejection and criticism the happier and more alive I felt.
I cannot explain it beyond that. But my own vulnerability
terrifies me thrills me.