really?

I called a friend going through a very new separation the other night on the phone. We talked for a long time.

I could feel her grief and shock.

It was important to her to let me know how different her split was from mine. This is what we do. We fear getting catalogued under the big fat dirty  communal heading of failure.

I remembered some of my own darkness and sadness, although so  remote now as though I had parked it on a distant planet.

I found I could give some decent advice although the scenarios are so very different.

Her voice was shaking when she said “I never planned on growing old alone. How are you adjusting to that, Nancy?”

I said “I don’t have any plans to grow old alone. ”

She now spoke loudly

“Really?” 

I can’t help it. I have to think this way.

Let me know if you think it is dangerous to be so filled with faith.

of all the things not to love about aging one of the best parts is being authentic. My dad used to say ‘I am just getting better at being myself’ and I get what he meant even though sometimes it was as explanation for some of his less attractive qualities. Click here for Being Me- I think you will agree about being you too

4 thoughts on “really?

  1. What is wrong with growing old alone? We have been conditioned our entire life that we will be happy when we get married and have children. The fact is we are alone even when we are married except there is a warm body there. I have been divorced for one year now. I am living everyday practicing liking and loving myself. I started from being afraid of being alone to I actually enjoy being alone. Solitude is understated. I just do not ever want anyone to dictate my contentment.

  2. agreed 1000%, SL
    I love my own company and don’t want anyone to dictate my own contentment either.
    yes must love oneself
    yes must love one’s company
    But it is not my first choice for me to be alone ultimately. I would never decide this for someone else.
    Solitude is gorgeous.
    Sharing is also gorgeous.
    Loving another is wonderful.
    Bad marriage is death.
    I am clear on this after 5 years of loving my own company.
    Keep up the great perspective. The change in you sounds spectacular.

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