I had surgery on a Monday morning in September and by the afternoon I was in a sun filled room on the 6th floor of Women’s College Hospital. Stoned on painkillers, I slept lightly but vividly, aware of all the good things I have in the outside world. People who love me, support me and rely on me. Work I love and a life that is always changing and surprising me. I love the way these hard moments reveal the best bits.
Around 6, a new stretcher arrived- a woman about my age, fit, happy and active with two daughters of similar ages to mine. Her husband sat by her side for hours softly speaking with her, reaching out to touch her gently, persistently reminding the nurses that they had asked for a private room. I loved listening to their whispers and the way they mutually protected each other-him acting strong for her although clearly very concerned and scared-and her acting brave for him, voice like an angel, although clearly in as much pain and discomfort as me.
With all my people and love and good life, I don’t have that. That is missing and in these big life moments it is heartbreaking.
However, when the next dose of morphine arrived, my glass was half full again. I may not have it now but I get to fall in love again. And that is nothing short of thrilling. Gotta love a good shot of morphine.
Your words make me weep. And feel strong and inspired too. Thank you for sharing. I can’t wait to read through the rest of your blog. Hugs.
Shari- welcome and thank you for your kind comments. What brought you here? I am going to look at your blog now- best-n
My mom sent me the link to your post called “What Motivates Me to Write”, (http://myfamilyisnotbroken.wordpress.com/) and your words stated so clearly and expressively what I’ve felt over the last year and a half. I separated in January last year followed by a chaser of thyroid cancer, so your words in this post really struck a chord.Thank you for being so brave to share it. – Shari
Oh I am so sorry Shari- I am glad you came to my site and it has been useful to you.
BTW, after checking out yours I sent the link to my colleagues at urbanmoms.ca who I believe have reached out to you
I have got to ask you- did your fabulous cooking ever suffer through the difficult times? Honestly I am so impressed
I’m thoroughly enjoying reading your posts. I’ve read up to February 2010 and am loving it. 🙂
Yup, urbanmoms has been in touch with a promotion that I may help with. Thanks for sending them my link. That was sweet of you.
Though it was difficult to continue posting through everything that happened this past year and a half, it’s been worth it and has given back more than I ever expected. Hard work, small miracles and hope get me through. xo
thank you for reading, Shari. I hope the UM thing works out.
Believe me I know what you mean by hard work and small miracles, and big miracles.
best to you-n