stadium seating

A few years ago I got to  a dinner party late due to a series of unfortunate events. There was only one seat left-I hated to be the one to make the table look uneven (now I could care less so don’t stop inviting me)- and it was beside people I don’t particularly like.  I didn’t create a scene but sat down at their end  dutifully. I made light conversation  asking them about hockey schedules with their boys , school, trips, and the weather.  Just when I was about to fall asleep with my eyes open, they jumped into my personal life.  How was I managing? When would I be putting my house on the market? Was I lonely? How was my sex life?

It is important to mention that these people are mere acquaintances and somehow while I was only on their front porch asking politely for a cup of sugar, they were upstairs trying to rummage around in my underwear drawer.

I smiled. I looked right at them and said “How are you managing? When are you going to put your house on the market? Are you lonely? How is your sex life?

I got a small bit of wicked pleasure knowing my answers-which I never gave- were likely better than theirs.

2 thoughts on “stadium seating

  1. I am often stumped by people asking such bizzare things. This is a very useful and much more satisfying approach than standing there gobsmacked. Thanks!

  2. Pingback: unsolicited advice « my family is not broken

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