This staying up v.s. getting pulled down is a struggle. Such a struggle, it likely burns many calories.

I am a happy, positive person almost to the point of the ridiculous at times-my accountant, broker, hairdresser, banker and even at one point years ago, therapist, may have all had good reason to argue why I should not feel as good as I do about myself and my place in the world – but I just do. I must.

Part of my fear is saying anything else about who I am makes me into whatever I say. If I say to myself I am of ugly heart, broken and unworthy, I will be. And the opposite works too.

Some days this is hard for me to pull off but I work at it in those moments – the rest of the time it just feeds off itself and I am not even aware of it. Sometimes I look down and my feet are a couple of inches off the ground.

Generally, the positive vibe I have, brings both positive people and incredible- even miraculous -outcomes, but occasionally I feel like I am the complaint counter for single people. Or the unhappy marrieds.

Please, please, please find someone else to make your sweeping declarations heard. I am working hard to stay me and this stuff tries to pull me way down.

I don’t entertain the notion that “all men are….”

I cringe at the idea that “all women want….”

We are people first, with our complexities, failings, challenges and gifts.

I protest when anyone says there are no good men left. I know several  good people, actually. But I won’t give them your number if you don’t pull your socks up.

I protest when someone says  “all women are…”

I am me. Don’t tell me to lose hope or lose myself in the category of divorced women, middle age women (boy, that sounds all  squishy, jiggly and nearsighted) or single women. Don’t challenge the way I see the world or myself in it. It isn’t hurting anyone. It isn’t humble to say but I think my attitude helps others, actually.

And you are you. Try not to lose hope or yourself in the category of heartbroken, downtrodden, victim or whiner.

It ain’t pretty. And it will only get you where you are heading-in a big fat  hurry.

( Surely friends, you know the difference between this and sharing confidence with me about your struggles and your ups and downs don’t you?  This is quite a different thing than what I am talking about and I love our long heartfelt chats on my L couch!)

Yesterday was my firstborn’s 18th birthday. Click here for my letter to her