Today is your birthday and it is one  MOFO of a birthday.

I  should know as we share the year we were born.

I know it is hard but try to love it as best you can because at 80 you will wish you did.

Today I celebrate you and all you bring to the world.

I remember how I felt when I moved into residence first year and found out you were to be my roommate. They threw us together. This was likely because of our shared love of cigs, diet coke and staying up late. I was the luckiest girl in the building. You were simply one of the best and kindest people I had ever come across.

You were always very popular – everyone knew you, everyone loved you- and when a popular person is also a better than good person, the combination is powerful. And lovely. And I got to live with you. You were unselfish with your friendships and your wicked sweater collection. You shared so well.

In all those years I have never seen you moody except once when you were fast asleep and I tried hard to wake you up to tell you about the boy I kissed and you screamed “fuck off” in a way that was so uncharacteristic we still laugh about it.

I remember the coffee we had one night and you told me that if your boyfriend asked you to  marry him you would. I know where we were sitting. I know the look you had on your face. I was so happy and shocked to hear it. You’re leaving my team already? You were ready. I was not.

You asked me to be a bridesmaid in your wedding. This was an honour and a privilege as everyone wanted to be important to you. And I was.

At your wedding your husband spoke, a little choked up about what he loved most about you and it was your cheerfulness. I had never heard that characteristic bubble to the top. Cheerfulness,  I thought. I don’t get it.

But then again, I was very young.

I now know how cheerfulness is of huge importance and can transport a regular life to a spectacular life. You have that life.

You had three children in 3 years and asked me to be godmother to your only daughter. Another honour. Another way for you to tell me you loved me and believed in me. Another way for you to share your life and yourself with me. I have watched and learned from you as a mom. I am good at it in part because of your influence.

I came to your door the day you found out your mom was dying of cancer. You let me in. You shared with me. When I left my marriage and no one knew that first few weeks, you sensed something and pushed your way in and asked me what was up. This is so good. I felt so loved.

You never forget a single thing about any aspect of my life or my family’s life. I picture you with an accordion file with updated notes on all your various friends and at night you study them so you don’t forget to ask, you don’t forget a birthday, a struggle, a doctor’s concern or a triumph. Our news is always on your mind. I have never seen anyone as good at this as you. You put the rest of us to shame.

I am grateful for your 31 years of sharing, 31 years of being that person who never forgets and 31 years of being the most cheerful person I know. And now that I understand the importance of cheerfulness I try to be that way myself no matter what life delivers and I have you as a perfect example.

Take a look at how the world sees you and be happy today that you are healthy and beautiful and have an incredible life. Stare the MOFO down.

I love you, roomie. Happy Birthday xoxox

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