losing someone in pieces

This is not the way it went for me but I still think this is the best way to describe the feeling you have. This is the same indescribable feeling of loss of losing someone in pieces, only in the case of dementia it is when they are alive.

“When someone you love dies, and you’re not expecting it, you don’t lose her all at once; you lose her in pieces over a long time—the way the mail stops coming, and her scent fades from the pillows and even from the clothes in her closet and drawers. Gradually, you accumulate the parts of her that are gone. Just when the day comes—when there’s a particular missing part that overwhelms you with the feeling that she’s gone, forever—there comes another day, and another specifically missing part.”
― John IrvingA Prayer for Owen Meany

I have been thinking about how my dad had such a big personality and how different it would be if he went all at once instead of slowly, so slowly, in pieces.

If you missed my dad’s obituary as many of you have said that you did- this is the link.

#LewyBodyDementia #Dementia #Grief #Death #Loss

2 thoughts on “losing someone in pieces

  1. Oh Nanc – after my mom died my friend and I would discuss this often. She had just lost her dad in a tragic traffic accident – we would so often find ourselves discussing which was better, which was easier. I don’t think there is an answer. But I do think, having nursed my grandmother through it, dementia is a whole other ball of wax. It’s a cruel disease. Awful for both patient and family. I’m so sorry Nancy. x

  2. I am not sure what is easier (better) either. As you know, my Dad has LBD as well. I Although much of who my Dad was is gone, he is still with us. I can still give him a hug. Coincidently enough my Dad is Donald too and born the same year as yours. My son did a video called Pieces about my father last spring trying to capture how he thought my Dad saw / felt things.. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W58CdGVyZgE. The obituary for your Dad was beautiful and touching. Thanks for sharing your story with us.

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