Remember when you were young and your mom said I don’t care if you are a garbage man as long as you are the best garbage man you can be.
And you thought, Mom, are you full of crap?
And then you thought you sort of badly wanted to become one happy, fabulous garbage man just to see what she would say then?
Or at least date a happy, fabulous garbage man just to see mom’s reaction?
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It’s just that I was caught behind a very slow garbage truck on my street- my block actually and I always feel closest to my block neighbours- with no possibility to pass due to massive snow and ice- and I was shocked at how unhappy and unfabulous the garbage man was. And it made me think of my mom.
He would take each of my neighbours’ green bins and SMASH them on the side of the mouth of the truck to shake all the frozen contents loose. One by one I watched him break 6 green bins and toss them broken, without remorse, onto my neighbours’ driveways. Some of these neighbours are elderly, some with new babies, all with struggles like all of us and minimal free time, I would say. I was so shocked I was speechless. I am rarely speechless.
Suddenly a path opened up and I zipped around, parked in my driveway and jumped on my bin to guard it.
I put on my most charming smile. Damn. I need this bad guy on my side.
Would you mind terribly not smashing my green bin to smithereens ? I would rather not replace it.
They are free, you know.
(Is that really your response?)
I watched you smash my neighbours’ bins and I don’t want you to do that to mine. PLEASE. *smile* I wanted to remind him that I always give them cookies at Christmas. My predisposition to speak my mind is intercepted by my need for my garbage people to serve me well and consistently. And not break my stuff.
Now he is smiling.
Everyone complains if I don’t get all the frozen bits out of the bottom so I need to smash it.
Ummm. I am different. Leave some behind if you must. But don’t break my bin.
He tenderly took my bin and shook it without a single smash.
As he waved and jumped on the back of his truck, it took all my power not to shout Does your mom know you are not the best garbage man you can be? In fact you are really lousy.