sunny side up

I told my children recently that when you walk into someone’s house and it is grand try to look into their eyes and not overdo the ‘wow, your house is friggin’ huge’. If they are nice rich people make sure you tell them their house is lovely. If they are mean rich snobs comment on a small – very small – vase of  simple flowers only and then ask them what their sign is.  When they say ‘do you like my indoor pool?’ Say ‘what is your favourite colour?’ It might kill them but it will be good for them.

I went to a dinner party recently and the couple was just dying for us to ask for a tour of their  newly renovated house. I am trying to be more generous so I said “please can I have a tour of your newly renovated house”. Inside I am thinking if I have to look at one more walk in closet out of SATC (Sex and the City- have you been asleep) and fabulous ensuite bathroom with dappled afternoon light and a look that says no one uses it, I might scream. Sometimes I feel I still live in a college dorm. Keeps me young, though.

It is not that I don’t like this stuff- I love it.  I just never got the memo that says it is at the top of the list.

The tour was riveting but the finale was superb. In the master bedroom – all ooohs and ahhhs over millwork and blah blah blah – all eyes turned to a pair of undies -not fresh and sunny side up- that just did not quite make it into the hamper.

Human, after all. Even with the  wainscoting,  jacuzzi and room for a pony.

NB after my hugely successful book comes out and I have a walk in closet and a eucalyptus steam room, I promise I will still be me.

check out HOW TO SURVIVE ALMOST ANYTHING on my other blog Flying Solo

9 thoughts on “sunny side up

  1. O.K. You are my laugh out loud therapy!i am just printing this off to read to Andrew before bed. Good note to go to sleep on. Classic!

    • coming from the funniest 16 year old I know- this is a huge compliment. When are you going to guest write for me, Emmie? Honestly, a little blurb about adventures on exchange in England. Perhaps some mixings with the opposite sex?

  2. Ahhhh I needed that laugh today. My baby turned 3 and my 7 year old has sore orthodontics 1 day old my husband is already regretting (past ortho kid himself).
    I swear every time I was lucky enough to go to Ste. Anne’s spa, it was to eat overlooking their rolling property and to stake out a nice spot in the eucalyptus steam room and sit around in a plush bathrobe.

  3. haha mommy i love this one… Its one of my favourite ones so far!
    miss you loads…
    love you
    xoxo

    • this is the first news I get in two weeks from South Africa? When you get home you are grounded. And bare bottom spanking with a wooden spoon. You are coming home, aren’t you?

  4. Hysterical post…to show you a very different living situation, here’s a link to my video showing my best gay boyfriend my mattress on the floor and the room I have been living in for the past 3+ months!!

    I’m a 39 year old woman who sleeps on a mattress on the floor in my friend’s condo. LOVES IT!

    http://www.ustream.tv/recorded/5969218

Comments are closed.