silence

A few weeks or more go by, and then suddenly it hits you.

You have not thought of that person even once.

When you lose someone so important to you, you scramble to hold onto their essence and all the ways that you are like them. You cannot bear the notion that they might slip away from you in all ways.

But life folds in in that remarkable way that both saves you and hurts you.

My dad was put into the very cold earth a few months ago. He is in a small but beautiful box, no bigger than a shoe box. How could someone so big, with so much personality, fit in such a little place? It gave me a shiver, as we put dirt on top of him and said goodbye.

It looked so cold where he was going.

He is gone completely now. I can’t quite believe it.

He use to say  and live     Say what you mean and mean what you say.

I loved this about him and realize how I come by it so honestly. You never got silence, you always got the truth. (Even when it was hard).

I think of that often as it hits me that much of the world prefers silence over speaking thoughts.

He is so silent now.

 

 

8 thoughts on “silence

  1. You write so beautifully Nancy. Your thoughts on your father’s passing mirror many of my thoughts re: my Mom’s passing. I just wish I had the words to write as you do. Stay well. Best, Kate

  2. If you believe in eternal life, the essence of your handsome and wise father will always be surrounding you with his love, guidance and wisdom.

  3. Nancy your father is not silent, he will always be a part of you and you have so many wonderful things to say!

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