dad, I laminated you

It has been almost 6 months since my dad died.

I somehow wondered if in that time I would find a few answers. I found other stuff (but not answers)-

There is a hollow bit where that person used to be deep in the attic of my soul.

There is an overriding desire to keep him alive somehow.

I see that grief is not linear.

Last week I laminated my dad’s obit (it made me upset to think things were splattering on it) and put it on the fridge right beside a place I visit every morning. Several times.

This is helping. When I see it I feel like I belong. It gives me direction.

He wore his heart on his sleeve and you always knew where you stood with him.  He loved Toronto but also the whole world with a curiosity that encouraged travel and relocation. He loved food and telling funny stories. He had the playfulness of a child but the wisdom of a man. He loved to swim, dance and tease the people he loved. If he adored you, you got a nickname or five. He was sought after by many for his humour, friendship and advice on both business and personal matters. He was fiery and impatient with small issues and steady, even and brilliant with life’s greatest challenges. He loved to work and he loved to play. He rose at 5 most mornings to go to the gym and felt the rest of the household (world) should too. He played tennis and squash with passion and went nuts if you tried to cheat. He had a strong sense of right and wrong and always stood up for and fought for what he believed in. He was not afraid of change, adversity or even his illness, remarkably. 

 

One thought on “dad, I laminated you

  1. Hi Nancy,
    I just read your blog about your dad.
    He and my husband James were very similar and would of enjoyed each others company very much, perhaps where ever they are in our vast universe they are playing a passionate and gentlemen’s game of tennis.

    My sadness is knowing that my girls memories of their own dad ended two years ago.
    My Joy and what I am grateful for everyday is that they had such an amazing father and his strength, humor and kindness lives on in them.

    I am thinking of you.

    Mary Muir xox

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