that’s so cute

I love women. Most of my friends are women. I am a woman. Now that I have made all of this clear, I need to say that women can be bitchy, marginalizing and extremely petty. Those who stay at home condemn those who work (she won’t sacrifice for her children) , those who work condemn those who stay at home  (she is so boring, please don’t seat me beside her at a dinner party ). Those showing signs of age are said to be letting themselves go, those looking a little too good are asked if they are eating anything at all (anorexia?) or having an affair. Those who are doing well are aggressive; those down on their luck are pathetic. Those who are happy are asked about mood stabilizers; those who are sad are questioned about depression.

We need to work on the sisterhood, girls

I had a meeting with my  bank manager today who I quite like but who cautions me frequently on my sunny nature. While it is true she knows my whole financial picture and can’t possibly find me top of the class; I, on the other hand, know what I can do and have the crazy ability to believe in miracles. We are different; she spends all day with numbers and I spend all day with colour. Gord Nixon brings a tear to her eye; Gord Downie a tear to mine. She asked “has your financial picture changed at all in the last month?”  She assumed I would answer “no”. I said “yes, actually, I launched my blog and I got a paycheque from it last month” She said “you got paid for your blog?” Eyes bulging in disbelief, “that’s so cute”.

That’s the kicker.

When a woman says “that is so cute” – it only really means that’s so cute when it is relating to a baby, a puppy or  something sweet your husband or the Easter bunny did. Beyond that she is trying to say it is lame, ugly, cheap  or pathetic.  Sometimes it can even be a statement to buy time because she is in shock (here, maybe the case) or jealous. Believe me, I am a woman. I know.

I looked at this woman I like and I said “that’s so  cute?” “Did you really just say that’s so cute? It is not cute – it is fucking amazing. Ok I have to write that down. I am going to have to blog about this.’

I got out my notebook,  laughing,  wrote “that’s so cute” and promised her I would not use her name.

In the meantime, I won’t hold my breath to see the  Wall Street Journal, commenting  “that’s so cute” , in reference to RBC’s  fiscal health.

check out sticky business -my new post on urbanmoms flying solo

9 thoughts on “that’s so cute

  1. I remember the old-school days the she-villan would clearly identify herself up front. Now the disguises are so deceiving.

    Used to be the shoes were tell-tale now they’ve learned to walk softly and carry a big stick. That used to be a man’s job.
    thanks for spreading the word on un-required cuteness.

  2. This is strange Nancy but your comments on women really helped me. I have, my whole life, found it hard to understand some fellow women. I have often thought I didn’t ‘get it’ or that I had done or said something so stupid that it deserved the mean and cunning come back. At forty I recently defriended someone on facebook who I have been literally ‘friends’ with since babyhood but who, not once, said anything supportive or kind. Only comments like ‘so cute’ when I graduated university [from the less ‘challenging’ school] or didn’t reply to pictures of my kids but instead commented on her PHD. I have never, embarrassingly, stopped to think maybe women can just be mean sometimes. Hmmmm, I feel strangely better. Thanks.

    • Jennifer- I am so glad you have joined us. I have a friend who was hurt by this because she felt it was unfair to female friendship and support. I must be clear I am so fortunate to have that too but I am also aware of the green monster of envy that exists and how it takes down a lot of goodness that could be shared. n

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