I love women. Most of my friends are women. I am a woman. Now that I have made all of this clear, I need to say that women can be bitchy, marginalizing and extremely petty. Those who stay at home condemn those who work (she won’t sacrifice for her children) , those who work condemn those who stay at home (she is so boring, please don’t seat me beside her at a dinner party ). Those showing signs of age are said to be letting themselves go, those looking a little too good are asked if they are eating anything at all (anorexia?) or having an affair. Those who are doing well are aggressive; those down on their luck are pathetic. Those who are happy are asked about mood stabilizers; those who are sad are questioned about depression.
We need to work on the sisterhood, girls
I had a meeting with my bank manager today who I quite like but who cautions me frequently on my sunny nature. While it is true she knows my whole financial picture and can’t possibly find me top of the class; I, on the other hand, know what I can do and have the crazy ability to believe in miracles. We are different; she spends all day with numbers and I spend all day with colour. Gord Nixon brings a tear to her eye; Gord Downie a tear to mine. She asked “has your financial picture changed at all in the last month?” She assumed I would answer “no”. I said “yes, actually, I launched my blog and I got a paycheque from it last month” She said “you got paid for your blog?” Eyes bulging in disbelief, “that’s so cute”.
That’s the kicker.
When a woman says “that is so cute” – it only really means that’s so cute when it is relating to a baby, a puppy or something sweet your husband or the Easter bunny did. Beyond that she is trying to say it is lame, ugly, cheap or pathetic. Sometimes it can even be a statement to buy time because she is in shock (here, maybe the case) or jealous. Believe me, I am a woman. I know.
I looked at this woman I like and I said “that’s so cute?” “Did you really just say that’s so cute? It is not cute – it is fucking amazing. Ok I have to write that down. I am going to have to blog about this.’
I got out my notebook, laughing, wrote “that’s so cute” and promised her I would not use her name.
In the meantime, I won’t hold my breath to see the Wall Street Journal, commenting “that’s so cute” , in reference to RBC’s fiscal health.
check out sticky business -my new post on urbanmoms flying solo
Right on sister!
finally something we agree on Laura. Actually, we agree on everything don’t we?
You go girl!!! I’ll be cheering for you all the way!
thanks so much wendy
“cute” is a sucky word
should we banish it ? n
I remember the old-school days the she-villan would clearly identify herself up front. Now the disguises are so deceiving.
Used to be the shoes were tell-tale now they’ve learned to walk softly and carry a big stick. That used to be a man’s job.
thanks for spreading the word on un-required cuteness.
This is strange Nancy but your comments on women really helped me. I have, my whole life, found it hard to understand some fellow women. I have often thought I didn’t ‘get it’ or that I had done or said something so stupid that it deserved the mean and cunning come back. At forty I recently defriended someone on facebook who I have been literally ‘friends’ with since babyhood but who, not once, said anything supportive or kind. Only comments like ‘so cute’ when I graduated university [from the less ‘challenging’ school] or didn’t reply to pictures of my kids but instead commented on her PHD. I have never, embarrassingly, stopped to think maybe women can just be mean sometimes. Hmmmm, I feel strangely better. Thanks.
Jennifer- I am so glad you have joined us. I have a friend who was hurt by this because she felt it was unfair to female friendship and support. I must be clear I am so fortunate to have that too but I am also aware of the green monster of envy that exists and how it takes down a lot of goodness that could be shared. n