We get on the overnight flight to Paris and VNB (very nice boyfriend) says I booked the emergency exit/bulkhead seats with this huge amount of space in front in case we want to stretch out and lie on the floor
I looked at him like On the floor? WTF. If you lie on that floor, I will never kiss you again. He is smiling, so maybe he is joking.
I didn’t say anything out loud because of NSN (never say never) factor.
A few hours into the flight I have gone from 5’8 to 7 feet tall. I am all legs and arms and frozen butt. I am Wilt Chamberlain* in Economy Class.
I accept the dinner and eat it happily. I take a tiny corner of a little sleep aid with a decent glass of red.
Within moments I am staring longingly and lovingly at the carpet. I am now pretty sure I have undiagnosed restless leg syndrome.
I am looking super smart and sexy right now. Earbuds in, C shaped oversized, blow up neck support, eye mask and airline blanket.
The floor is inviting me, lights are dim. Suddenly, I am no longer on a flight with hundreds of people. Or at minimum, I don’t care.
I lay the blanket down like I am going to have a picnic and lie down. Blissful.
VNB is snoring upright in his seat like a normal person.
I am fast asleep. I feel someone poking at me and saying Excuse me, miss. I completely ignore her hoping she will decide I am dead and will leave me alone.
She is shaking me now. You can’t do this. She does a Vanna White* sweep across my lifeless body with a big, kind smile.
I wish I was 5. Then she might let me. I am tempted to suck my thumb but I move sadly, back to my seat.
I do sort of fall back asleep upright and an hour later It’s Breakfast!
When we get to Paris, we find out our flat will not be ready until 5:30. In the afternoon. I might be dead by the afternoon.
Stay tuned for sleeping around part2.
(yikes, all my natural references are from the 70’s)
Relax folks. I said nap on the floor. It’s not like it was a scene from Bridesmaids. But hurry and watch this asap.