swimming days

My dad loved to swim. I can think of him my whole life saying yes to swimming always. He would say Today is a swimming day or Let’s go for a swim, Nance and all would be right in the world.

When we were kids, we would all three get on his back and he would travel under water like a 6’4 whale for what seem to be an unsafe amount of time,  until we would yank on his back hair (tough visual but true) for him to come up for air.

One day, perhaps 5 years ago, my mom, dad and I went down to the water for a swim. Dementia takes memory from you in an arbitrary and unexpected way, without warning and often suddenly. We were swimming, the day was hot and perfect, the water cool and fresh. We looked over at my dad and it was clear that he had forgotten what to do in the water. He was confused and stuck. It was a terrible moment.

His swimming days were over.

Dad and Doug on the beach in Nigeria

Dad and Doug on the beach in Nigeria