before you go

My youngest graduated high school on Friday alongside her cousin, my wonderful beautiful niece, in an epic Shakespearean rainstorm perfect for the weight of dramatic change it represents for us.


When I was 18 I did not know this stuff (including notes linked through #23, 28,36 I wrote to your sister when she graduated) but wish someone had told me. Or likely, I was told all of these things but ignored them. Some of this stuff I learned very recently, some I think I have known forever but am still working on. In a desperate attempt to impart wisdom and erase any of the really bad, destructive, sloppy, wild and crazy stuff I may have made great example of, thought I should pass it on to you.

1. When you are on an uphill, push yourself more.

2.Clean the toothpaste and spit out of the sink after you are done. For bonus points, put the lid on.

3. Be punctual, early even. If you are consistently late, the cortisol will kill you  and the apologies will destroy  you.

4. Don’t  Do wear that out of the house. I changed my mind. Life is short, the skirt might as well be too.

5. Follow through, self-determination and self-discipline are everything

6. Be exceptional

7. Choose solid people, when you fall down they are your example, when they fall down you will rise to meet their needs

8. Family first

9. If you have to tug on it, it’s probably too short. (Amendment to #4)

10. How do you want to be known? How do you want to be remembered? This is your compass.

11. Thank you notes are not old-fashioned

12. Stand up straight

13. There is no smart or healthy shortcut to being thin or rich

14. Don’t put the electric kettle on the stove element, then turn it on and go to bed. (yes it was a great party)

15. Outer order produces inner calm ( I am talking about your bedroom, knapsack, bankbook, locker, closet, mind and body)

16. Have a sense of humour.

17. Work hard

18. Stay true

19. Open your window while you sleep

20. Get up early and get outside

21. Eat your vegetables

22. Read. Listen.

23. Be a life pig

24. Stay current- the world is bigger than your FB page.

25. After you win, keep working.

26. After you lose keep working.

27. Help. Do.

28. Be yourself everyone else is taken 

29. Push yourself

30. Be kind to yourself

31. Push your chair in when you get up from the table

32. Take the garbage out without being asked.

33. Do the extra bit

34. Habits take 30 days to break and 30 days to make

35. Don’t say can’t. Don’t say won’t. Do say sorry.

36. Remember we are all human

37. When you return a platter,  return it with something yummy on it.

38. Forgive and forget.

39. Be better than yesterday

40. Ask for what you want in life. Politely. And then work to show you deserve it.

41. Initiate.

42. Make the life you want. Only you can do that.

What a magnificent journey. I am so grateful for it. xo


me and sammy 1999

graduation Sammy 2015




7 thoughts on “before you go

  1. Love the advice to be shared with many… beautiful before and after shots of this magnificent journey… Wishing you great success as you continue your journey!

  2. Made me cry. Wonderful advice we should all adhere to at all ages. We have all watched Sammy grow from her Harvey Keitel days, tantrums on the floor to the incredible soul she is today. BTW – she didn’t get there by chance. It was her phenomenal mom showing her the way every step. Love you all.

  3. Wonderful, sage advice. I want to share with my nieces graduating this month….and follow myself. We are never too old to improve! Congratulations!

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