part two-if life is a buffet, why can’t I go back for seconds

A  friend  of my daughter’s told us the other day that she and her mom (who divorced from her dad many years ago) have sold their home and are moving into a condo. While it is true that her mom wants to buy a home in the south and that in only two years she will be an empty nester, this seems like a next stage of downsizing. It seems like closing the windows of opportunity and slamming the door on possibility.I don’t love the sounds of it.

While in many ways we can be seen as the same-except I have an “extra” daughter who is 2 years younger- I feel a million years from this. In fact, I smiled thinking while she is shrinking their living space, I am growing mine. A few have  said to me -why are you doing this right now, in a few years your kids will be gone – in some ways this is why I am doing it- to celebrate what we have now and to not assume anything about the future. Today is what I know.

I asked a trusted advisor if he thought I should add on to my home at this time – expecting him to say “why? how? or now?” and all he said was “Do it. Good for the soul.”

If life is this long and delicious spread, I am still seated at it. And I am not full.

Have you or have you not read my post on being lucky? I like it. Click here

6 thoughts on “part two-if life is a buffet, why can’t I go back for seconds

  1. Here is a little more food for thought. When my husband and I separated it eventually proved necessary to sell the family home. In fact my children, 19&21 were relieved. They found it strange to be in the house without their Dad there. They really encouraged me to get my own place and make it mine. They have both lived with me on occasions since and really love my new, downsized urban set-up. They also enjoy visiting their Dad in his new digs. Perhaps age has something to do with it…or my stage in life but I felt liberated getting rid of some of the household trappings and paring down. And, in my case, it has helped my kids to move forward as independent, well-adjusted young adults as well. So whatevever is good for YOUR family and soul…do it!

    • Anne- you are so right about this and I could not agree more. Downsizing has huge merit as does fresh start. I am so happy you love your new surroundings. Thank you for sharing your view.

  2. Good for the soul. I would soak up advice like that like a forgotten kitchen sponge. I am supporting a dear family member through a tough time. “Today is what I know” would be very helpful to her now. I often need reminding to celebrate what we have now, as a recovering Type A, I can get swept away with finishing off a list so the living can start.
    Time to get busy living,
    thank you Nancy

    • we need an element of type A as well- otherwise we would never get anything done. I am very excited about this change but a little scared as it will require that I work harder than ever to pay for it. i am the same as you and need to work on appreciating the moment and not being so task oriented.

  3. Hmm… I am thinking that we are so unique, our relationship with life is so unique that what may be perfect for one is not necessarily the same for another. Downsizing may be the absolutely perfect thing for this woman and… it is just downsizing. It doesn’t necessarily mean anything.

    • yes- you are right about that- it is just likely my hangup with that word and the idea of retirement which may have nothing to do with anything. It all scares me a little. I write is as I feel it at the time but love to be challenged on my views

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