Once upon a time in the throws of PMS, she crept into the kitchen late at night and bit the head off a large LINDT easter bunny belonging to one of her children. She sat in darkness feeling both her guilt and her pleasure fight with one another.
The next day the children took inventory and saw the beheading. They swung to address the mother and all she could say, straight faced was “Isn’t that amazing, he fell down and broke his head.”
They weren’t buying.
Then-“Those manufacturers of fine chocolate shipped the bunnies without heads. Shame.”
“Momma, the head was on him yesterday”
“OKAY OKAY. My kingdom for your forgiveness. I could not control myself. Now is a good time as ever to discuss hormones and how they take hostage of you”