One of the benefits of getting older is you can chose what you do and don’t want to do. This of course is awash in a sea of doing many things you don’t want to do but have to do.
I don’t need to do calculus, go to night clubs, hang out with people I don’t like, wear pantsuits or conservative clothes or care too much about what people think. I don’t need to eat cabbage, sweetbreads, monkey brain or go to bed early. I dont need to do homework, gymnastics, swim lessons, hall monitoring or piano lessons but I need to do other things I often don’t want to.
A couple of weeks ago a friend I have been spending time with told me what we were going to be doing last night. He had planned it out.
I did not want to do it
I was scared to do it
I totally feared the idea actually
I said “If you make me I might hate you and you might find me ugly”
I wanted to say “no”
But I did not
I said “yes”
Partially because I could and partially because it was hard and partially because don’t we need to push ourselves to feel more alive ?