I was skiing in the Laurentians this past weekend, when I ran into a woman whose husband was moving out that exact weekend. She looked happy and was out there doing her best with  a brave face and her  triplet boys and it made me think of how differently  break ups are allowed to manifest themselves in us depending on our age and stage.

In our teens, a break up occurs and we over discuss with our girlfriends while listening to Bread or other bad music to feel sorry for yourself by. We might cry hard even if we did not really like the boy.

In our 20’s, we manage a break up by downing pints of Haagen Daz, not getting out of our PJ’s while it (always) rains outside.  For fun, we might smoke and drink too much and flirt inappropriately with someone we might normally find repulsive.

By our late 30’s and 40’s we don’t have time for a break up and it’s ugly manifestations. We snowshoe and ski, run and train, take our children to school, meet with the teachers, keep up with our paperwork, housework, and careers, argue with Hockey coaches, console friends who are upset that their renovations are taking too long (tragic) and still try to read the books in book club. We kiss boo boos, care for parents, talk through teenage dilemnas, throw dinner parties, set goals, achieve goals, weed our gardens and change our oil. Sometimes late at night,  when we have the energy and the time,  we can stuff our faces into our pillows and cry hard. No one will hear.

Thank God for age and getting on with it