counter intuitive

 

Over the years I have been to  a few but not loads of makeup counters

It is what girls are supposed to do. I guess. I often find the women that work at them fall into a category of womanhood that  makes me wonder if maybe I am a man. In the morning they put their faces on like they fell off in the night. I mean they line their lips and stuff. And pluck all their eyebrows off and then draw a line.  And they smell manufactured. Their long painted nails are like Hallowe’en all year.

Yikes

Sometimes at places like Bloomingdales you just need to walk by and they trip you and spritz you with perfume. According to them, you may not pass go without buying an eye cream, concealer and lip accentuator

There are two ways this can go

“Oh my, you have a lot of sun damage. At this rate you will be old before your time.”

Read- she wants to guilt me into buying something to throw at this problem.

or

“You have fabulous skin.”

Read- false flattery will make me buy everything you have to offer.

There was a period in my twenties where both of these techniques might have worked for a minute or two

Now I love to cut them off at the knees.

I smile and say “I feel so beautiful in my skin. You know what I mean? “.

Try it.

It freaks them out

I mean freaks them out.

They don’t cover this in ‘beauty school’

 

Beauty is a funny thing with people- it is like being happy- no one can tell you you are or you aren’t- only you can really do that. Canadians were voted top 5 UGLIEST creatures on earth recently- click here for why and please try to argue it and you will find it a bit tough