If mindfullness is the antidote to overstimulation, depression, irritability, lack of sex drive, overeating and inefficiency, it can also be a son of a bitch.
We are at our most mindfull when we are involved in a singular activity; not multitasking but doing something the old fashioned way-one thing at a time.
On the treadmill in the morning I can feel my whole life as I do at no other time all day. Emotions come up as a strong and unrelenting tidal wave. Sometimes I want to laugh hysterically about a moment I am remembering – other times I feel so much sadness that I can barely prevent myself from crying.
My dear friend was on a yoga mat in silence the way you are (supposed to be) in yoga. Eyes closed, heart open. Down the hall at the community centre she could hear “The Itsy Bitsy Spider”
and she burst into tears
Her babies were growing up so quickly- now both teenagers. That song, once a daily anthem- was gone. Replaced by tough girl ballads.
Yesterday, my best friend was on a treadmill, tuned into her favourite running music, when the enormity of what she is handling right now hit her like a brick wall. She began to cry and sobbed through her entire run. Someone handed her a gym towel- knowing a kleenex was not going to suffice.
Sometimes we work and play to distraction
Sometimes when we stop we feel it all.