I have told all of you, especially in my earliest posts, about the kindness and generosity that overwhelmed me when I first separated. It seemed to last forever. I accepted all of it and was grateful for it. It taught me so much about giving and taking.
One day, almost suddenly, it seems, it stops.Probably around the one year mark (I am sure I was luckier than most). No more casseroles at the door, no more calls in that way, no more longer than usual hugs, no more tiptoeing around you because you are tender. People start telling you their problems and they don’t preface it by saying-sorry this is nothing compared to what you are going through, they tell you when you have pissed them off, they no longer say you look really pretty even when you look like you have been run over by a bus, brothers tease again, people ask you for a price break in your business, and intelligent people look right at you and say , when their husbands are away, ” I am on my own this week so I am overwhemed/immobilized going crazy.”
You nod and say, without an ounce of irony, that must be so hard. And you mean it.
They see you whole and competent. And your story loses all its spectacular shine and shock value.
And you are so grateful for it.