A few weeks ago I was invited to see a documentary that was to screen last night. It was about a woman who has early onset Alzheimer’s.
I said yes, craving info, understanding and insight into what it must be like for my dad and my mom and what we could all do better towards those with dementia related illnesses.
And then I went last night. It was no longer going to serve his purposes directly. It all feels so different now.
My friend cautioned me “Very sad apparently, Nance. Are you sure you want to go?” I feel the saddest has already happened, over the last many years and then abruptly last Wednesday.
I wanted to go.
At the end, Banker White, the filmmaker and the woman’s son, opened up a Q&A.
My hand shot up like it was pulled by puppet strings.
It took a long time for the guy with the mic to reach me on the balcony.
I had no idea what I was going to say.
And then it just came out.
My dad died last week after a 13 year battle with Lewy Body Dementia.
My voice was shaking.
I want to thank you for showing your mom’s enduring sense of humour- giving her the time to express it and appreciate it. My dad had his sense of humour until…
And then I could not remember when he stopped having it.
until a while ago. It was a gift.
Thank you for tenderly showing the illness from the ‘inside’.
I sat down and swallowed hard. Eyes wet.
I can’t believe we are in the ‘after’.
#LewyBodyDementia #Alzheimer’s #Loss #Death
Nancy so sorry for your loss… I too experienced it first hand…. twice with both my mom and dad… The sad part is you lose them long before they pass away… my thoughts are with you..
Nancy,
I am thinking of you. Both my grand-mothers suffered from dementia in their last few years… I will always, always remember my dear grand-mother, my mom’s mom, whom I was very close to, coming to my wedding in 1994 when she was 82 years old. She had been suffering from alzheimer for a year or so by then, and was very nervous coming to the wedding, any social setting was quite upsetting to her. A few weeks later, I went to show her our wedding pictures. On the first picture in the album, a picture of me with my mom and sisters, she said “oh, what a beautiful bride, who is she?”, so I explained to her that it was me. She said “I am so sorry that I was not able to go to your wedding”. I stayed quiet and went to the next picture. Again “oh, what a beautiful bride, who is she?”… every time I turned the page, she asked the same question, and I told her again that it was me… until we got to the picture of her and my grand-father with me and Paul, and she looked and did not say a word for a minute. Then she said “you know, I am ready to go, for the lord to come and take me to him”. She passed away two years later. Hope to have a chance to see you and catch up soon. xoxoxox
Nancy – The movie was incredible and you were so brave to watch it and then speak so eloquently to thank the director and share your story. You had the whole audience in tears. It helped those of us in the audience who have yet to face this illness get a glimpse of what it might be like for all involved with dementia. Bravo