Every now and then a correction is required. Life is busy, we are what we frequently do, and we have behaviors that are so ingrained they are knee jerk and embedded. When I was foolish and twenty I somehow had the wisdom to latch on to the finest girls at my school. Funny, smart, kind and extremely good people-we have unfailingly been there for each other these last decades. Weddings, child birth, a few funerals, my separation and subsequent divorce, trips away, flowers and casseroles at the door, gifts of congratulations, loud dinners out, male strippers in homes with center halls and children sleeping upstairs, bike trips, 40th birthdays in Vegas where ‘everything stays’, calls of panic, calls of joy, pranks, good listening, hard laughing, stepping in, stepping out.
My younger daughter asked me the other day “How do adults learn to do everything?I said – ‘committee of adjustments’ . Stuff I don’t understand, things I need to get better at, how to balance, manage, help, be. When I spend weekends or evenings with these fine people, I watch, I listen, I ask. I grab the best of who they are and copy it. I come back with a chiropractic adjustment to my life. They have taught me how to make risotto, how to be kind, how to do upside down tequila shots, how to be a better daughter, friend and mother. They have even taught me about marriage, although that lesson didn’t quite do the trick.
The best part of true friendship is that it renders you better than who you are, sees you better than who you are and it is happy -truly happy-for you when you fly. Because at twenty I became acquainted with the prototype for goodness – I don’t need to mess around- I can spot it quickly and keep finding more wonderful people to join my committee.
So on Mother’s Day when I sit accepting kindness from my children for a job well done- I thank my committee of adjustments. I would be half of who I am without you.
Loved this. I am blessed to have chosen such great friends too. I spotted you from the minute i met you Nancy as you are so special. i hope nic/nicole gets this too as she is that friend you describe too. Amazing.
xo
Sue happy momma’s day.
best wishes to you sue- for a wonderful Mother’s Day. I felt you were my kind of girl the minute I met you too. Hope you were celebrated today -miss seeing you and your darling daughtert-xoxo me
So often in the ebb and flow of life we can feel lost or confused or even just numbed.
I keep a list of handy thoughts with me everywhere I go. Whenever I hear something I like to save for a time I might need it, I write it down. It used to be mainly an ego-based catalogue because witty people gave me such good “material” for reuse. But when life got windey and bumpy and slippery, boy did some things come in handy.
Fred Rogers, “Mr. Rogers” to most of us, had so many beautiful and useful things to say to every age of soul. One of them was “Look for the helpers.” Practice what you learn from them. So simple and profound.
I have had that quote for over a decade in my list but it never resonated like it did reading your post today, and for that I am doing my happy dance of discovery. Oh yaahh, ooo Yeah, Ohhh Yia….
That made me google more Fred and this beckoned me to post:
“Anything that’s human is mentionable, and anything that is mentionable can be more manageable. When we can talk about our feelings, they become less overwhelming, less upsetting, and less scary. The people we trust with that important talk can help us know that we are not alone.”
Every day from now on I will consciously not only look for the helpers but remember to practice what I have learned from them.
And one last Mr. Rogers quote for the road tonight:
“The thing I remember best about successful people I’ve met all through the years is their obvious delight in what they’re doing and it seems to have very little to do with worldly success. They just love what they’re doing, and they love it in front of others.”
Keep loving what you do in front of others Nancy, we all benefit from it.
heartfeltedly yours
Id
I never could trust a man who spoke so quietly and wore a cardigan-but these are good words of wisdom. I do collect quotes that I love and I am so glad you shared yours. Hope your anniversary was great-you and your husband look really young- did you get married in high school?
Such compliments.
We both used to get carded for ID until we were 30.
Then stress and worry got the best of us for almost a decade.
I can truly see the years of strain in physical manifestation.
I am hoping to slow down my rapid catch-up aging by being more calm and present. Maybe it is working 🙂
Nancy
Loved this one. You are right. We are so blessed to have found each other before the true challenges of life hit us so that the foundation was established for us to share the journey. It has been and continues to be an honour to call you my friend. Anytime my family hears me crying or laughing so hard on the phone, they know you are on the other end.
Keep blogging. You are changing lives.
Love you
I am sure you see yourself in this post. You show all of us how it is done-quietly and without ever complaining. I am consistently impressed by how you are and who you are. Lucky me. xoxoxo