My daughter and I Skyped last week. We discussed all areas of life. I knew she had a new love interest. I unconsciously left it on the back burner until then end.

I can’t help it.

It is not that I don’t think this is the ultimate- to have a best friend who you can’t keep your hands off is life’s most gorgeous gift- however it runs against my nature to put it swiftly above all else.

If this sounds like a contradiction, let me explain.

Everyone behind Valentine’s Day and the 365 days You’ve got Nothing if You Don’t Have Romance Committee, wish you really well but will try to tell you if you are not in a relationship, you’ve got nothing. I resent this and always have.

It is not that I can’t be the first one on the block to throw my heart into something/someone; passion is my middle name. I am also loyal practically to a fault.

But I won’t throw my old life, my always there life, over for a boy. I have amazing friendships, a wonderful family, great work and a good and steady pal I call “me” and she is worth upholding. That is the community that serves me, makes me whole no matter what and for that I would never abandon them, for a boy.

The right boy will understand this.

If you throw everything you’ve got over the side of the boat for a new captain and the boat sinks, good luck.

You are the captain, you must remember your crew. One day you might let someone co captain but you can’t hand the oars over immediately or exclusively.

I apologized to my daughter and explained this sentiment. I told her how happy and excited I was for her that she has someone wonderful in her life.  I meant it with my whole heart. But I also told her how happy and excited I am for her and her wonderful life and choices regardless.

Happiness serves you but it must be fed. I resist the statement “he makes me/ you happy”. We are in charge of that boat.

She gets it.

And that makes me very happy.