A friend ran into my mom at the grocery store, one day several years ago. This friend had rolled out of bed and run to the grocery store to grab a few things. It was 7 am. There was soft glow in aisle 5 and a chorus of angels and from around the corner my mom appeared in a pair of heels, an elegant outfit and the natural glamour she always exudes. My friend looked down at her own messy hair and shirt, with baby spit up on it and dove behind a tower of Oreos and has been traumatized ever since.

But she is not just that beautiful woman who freaked out my friend at Loblaws. She is as beautiful on the inside as she is on the outside

She is inside out beauty.

 

Mom, you are kind and good and strong.

You are cheerful and hopeful and funny.

You never have any panty lines.

Mom you are elegant and graceful and stubborn.

You are never going to give into age or limitation.

You defy gravity and medical prognosis.

Mom, dressing down for you is 3 inch heels and panty hose without control top.

You sleep still and tidy and don’t even wrinkle the sheets under you.

You iron sheets.

Even stranger, you love to iron sheets.

You make friends with people everywhere, that person on the street, the nurses who cared for dad, the moms with babies in the park. You have been like a mother to many of my motherless friends.

You are curious. And relentless and fair.

You find out everything about something or someone like you are an investigative journalist.

You are really bad at packing. You are usually off by about 15 degrees C.

You rarely complain and never explain.

You never make me feel guilty.

You wont take help unless it is forced on you.

You make a mean bed.

You have only ever sworn twice.

You don’t do any of the distasteful things most people do when they are alone, like skip meals, eat junk food in bed,  over eat or burp or stay in pjs all day.

You never see yourself as old.

Mom, you don’t ever share your sponge toffee.

You do the extra bit.

You believe in throwing yourrself into every stage and every life challenge.

Mom, you look good because of all the naturally occurring penicillin found in all the expired foods you eat.

After 20 years of being a stay at home mom, she fell into a job by being herself; open, curious, and hardworking. In her interview she was asked Where do you see yourself in 5 years? And she replied In your job. And she did make it to Vice President. This made a huge impression on me.

 

Some might say she is really happy now. Some might say that she was devastated by my dad’s illness. Both of these things are true but the bigger truth is she is as she has always been. Strong, hopeful, loving and positive. Her ability to be who she is in spite of the circumstances in her life is one of the things I love most about her.

Mom, your initials spell JEM.

A JEM is a jewel, something precious, something beautiful and my mom is both of those things to us. But you are also strong and loving. You are inside out beautiful.

Here’s to JUDY. Inside out BEAUTY.

-from my speech on the occasion of her 75 birthday yesterday. And just yesterday, it seems, I made this other speech at her 70th.

Happy Birthday, Mom of mine. You are the best.