can’t see the forrest for the trees

Did you know if you walk into a home and smell fresh bread baking after 5 minutes you are no longer aware of that smell?  You acclimatize, adjust to it, normalize it.

This is true of all good things we have- the people in our lives, the amazing things around us, all the good stuff.

This is why breaking away from our normal lives is so good for us. If we shake it up and change the atmosphere, the  landscape,  the routine we live in for a while- we come back to it all like a person walking into that fresh baked aroma for the very first time.

A long marriage has to be this way. Moments/days, even months  have to exist where we can’t see the goodness and  take it for granted. Also,  forgive the break in the upbeat tone, let’s not forget how something foul smelling like a marriage dying, can be normalized and accepted too.

I can see everything more clearly when I get away or make change.

how do grief and loss impact you? Click here for some old theories debunked

say you are strange

say you are strange and you want to run an art camp

you start with 3 cart loads of groceries

one truck full of art supplies

a beautiful setting

and some great girls

add the creative mind of an 8 year old

and it is pure fun.

true it is fun but I also get a bit stressed – click here to see the oddest thing that stresses me out (hint they are 30×40″, solid white and I have 40 of them)

good, giving and game

I love this as a key to a great relationship/ marriage. Although Dan Savage, writer of syndicated column of  Savage Love, meant it mainly as it related to an open mind regarding sex- I would argue it is a great way to live well with someone you care about on all levels/aspects of life.

By the way, I wish my last name was Savage. The name is pure cool. Think about it – Nancy Savage. I love it. Wouldn’t you buy my book with a last name like that? This  not to be confused with  Vicious. That name Sid’s wife can keep.

Ok not trying to insult anyone’s intelligence but all of this is worth repeating. Sometimes simple rules get buried.


(give your best in bed)

be your best

try your best

give your best


(give equal time and equal pleasure)

don’t think about what you are getting back

dig deep and give it your all. Even sometimes when you don’t  want to


(game for anything – within reason)

be open to the other person’s needs, fantasies, wishes

What if we all adopted this mentality?

So if you can possibly handle more thoughts on great relationships from the girl who can’t possibly be an expert on it- but hey I interviewed some friends with good ones- click here on ideas of how to have a great marriage