Monthly Archives: January 2012

save the date

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A couple of years ago I asked anyone who would listen for an invitation to a wedding. I really, really wanted to go to a wedding.

I can’t explain why except I felt like I had been to a lot of divorces- including my own. Well, of course you don’t go to them- they are thoroughly unceremonial, to say the least. But you attend them in every way possible.

Our favourite babysitter Kate  – who I have known since she was 12 and my babies were new and little and needed so much- came to our house a year ago with her mom, recently treated for cancer, sharing the happiness in her life. Oh, the hope that floats us.

An upcoming wedding.

It is just what I asked for.

My children will sing for her at the church and the reception.

We are saving the date.

We can hardly wait. It is just what I asked for.

When Kate and her mom came over last year to tell us this happy news- they sat in my kitchen to tell us their news. I love that spot in my house for the memories it holds- click here to read WHEN OBJECTS TELL A STORY 

a walking talk, a talking walk

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A second date,   several weeks ago with an old friend , was to go for  a walk in a beautiful ravine.

I love a walking talk. Or a talking walk.

So many questions and answers and the further unravelling as you do.

There was absolutely no one there so it was easy to be undistracted making me more aware of the way things showed themselves.

Out of no where, from the other direction there was a couple, high school sweethearts, who married and had a family, out for a walk, coming towards us.

We  said ‘hello’ and caught up briefly – they are not people I know well.

I did think how funny  it was that I was out with this man, someone else’s ex husband, the father of someone else’s children, someone they also knew, and me with my story and my path. And  them, with what appeared to be an enviable amount of uncomplicatedness, together 30 or more years, out laughing and walking and talking .

All four of us on this otherwise empty path, two going in one direction and two going in the other.

I looked at them  and thought after all these years together they were out doing what we had chosen to do on our second date.

Nice. Reassuring. Something to remember for my next marriage.

And then I found out later that they had split a few months prior.

Life is so surprising. Everyone at any given time is struggling with something.

 I like the road less travelled and I have always wanted to take Italian and did so this past fall. Click here for the story of Language and Linguini- the only way to learn

the inconvenient truth

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Sometimes I am the last one on the planet to figure something out. In 2011, the stupidest most widely understood thing that the whole world knew before me and I just found out is that-newsflash–  imported beer- goes bad quickly. I always like to have beer on hand for my older brother who likes it and any boys who might drop by to help carry something heavy.

They might not come back if you give them stinky beer

The other (bigger and more useful) lesson I saw a few times over and one time in particular, is the inconvenient truth about all things important.

It was a Sunday in the summer and a very dear friend  and her daughter called to say she was heading south from Muskoka and wanted to  swing by and say hi to me and my younger daughter at our family cottage just en route.

I love this girl. She is beyond special. Unique, smart, kind, brilliant actually. When I am with her I learn so much about everything that I find myself wanting to write stuff down. We don’t see each other enough as she lives 1/2 an hour from me in the city but when we do it is never enough time.

I asked her- maybe even begged a little- to stay the night- as neither of us were working the next day. They were exhausted and had no clean undies, their toothbrushes had gone home with her husband. They had turned fairly ‘native’ after several days up north.

She resisted  until we both agreed how in a busy life- getting together is never convenient or easy.

They came and stayed the night. And I learned the lesson  all of you likely already knew- Life is inconvenient and all the really good stuff requires extra effort.

I am thinking about this  as we are going to her chalet tomorrow- she is doing the begging and we are going to go for it.

 

What is really inconvenient is me giving up sweets  this month when I am completely surrounded by them. Click here for words for Wednesday not to be repeated around small children or the elderly