Monthly Archives: May 2012

you make me look better than I am

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It is a wonderful thing to get notes on mother’s day saying you are a good mom

or even a great mom

because, of course, there are sweeping moments of doubt in a busy life

there are moments of difficulty that challenge you and surprise you

there are moments that call you to be better than you might have been

and you dont always love your performance the way you want to

and people might tell you you have wonderful kids and look at you and wonder what your secret is

and you dare not tell them the truth

that they make you look better at your job then you really are

really

I hope  all of you  had a mother’s day where you felt appreciated and loved. Click here for MY FAVOURITE THING TO DO WITH MY MOM

etre bien dans sa peau

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This is one of my favourite expressions- it means“to be (feel) good in one’s skin”

We know we say it in English-Somehow in French it has deeper meaning especially if you smooth your hands over your body as you say it with a strong accent

I think of how real beauty is so linked to feeling good in one’s skin. There is a sense that that skin fits just right and that being you is smooth and silky and yours-just like that skin.

The beauty of aging is that if you do it right- you feel bien dans sa peau.  Women in their 40s and onwards seem to get this right (unless they don’t) as they move gracefully into that skin.

(Children who are loved seem to be this too- up until 10 or 11 and then it gets knocked out of them too often)

Every couple of months I get an email with a photo- above is the one from last week- from my best friend. She is in her seat on a Friday night. Waiting with excitement  for a concert to begin.

She loves music. She loves to dance. She loves to sing along loudly without any sense/care that anyone is looking.

So if it is not enough to go to a concert and stand on your seat and sway your hips, arms above head singing at the top of your lungs-here is the clincher-

SHE GOES BY HERSELF

(also perhaps more  important to note – she does not drink)

She loves music so much and finds most of her people dont quite love it the same way. So that does not stop her from doing what she loves.

My best friend est bien dans sa peau

words for wednesday – on bribery and parenting- by clicking here

living without BS

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A woman I recently met was talking about how hard she finds some women, how they gossip, how they backstab, how they manipulate.

I could not help but tell her I don’t have any of that in my life. (if I do, I am 100% oblivious to it. So same thing)

I vaguely remember a bit of this, and know some women are capable of it but it plays no part in my current life.

It seems writing has turned me inside out to the world. I have only one side now. My difficulty and joy are available to be known and that has made others share with me. There is no more room for superficiality. Everyone who comes my way is real now. Where are those other people? I have no ability to  BS anymore, so somehow no one gives it to me anymore.

Age has also made me aware of people’s goodness. Being aware of it ensures that I expect it. Expecting it ensures that they give it.

Being extremely busy means I don’t have time to gossip or be ‘little’ anymore. If you don’t play golf, golfers avoid you. If you don’t gossip, same thing.

I have a sixth sense now for good  people and have so many of them in my life.

My family is overflowing with exceptionally good people. My children are outrageously good people. My friends are the same. The people I work with, also.

Goodness. It can’t be a coincidence.

The next time you are feeling no connection with the outside world, open up. It does a bit of a magic.

What if I could be as kind and forgiving of  myself as I am to others? What would that be like? Click here for me trying not to be so hard on myself. This is tough for me.