Tag Archives: advice and councelling

vulnerability

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Towards the end of my marriage, vulnerability scared the wits out of me. I felt there was much others knew before me, I felt a loss of control of my own life, and I tried everything to make myself avoid vulnerability.

Over the last 4 years – I have found myself  excited and fascinated by my own vulnerability. The more I put myself out there in my work and personal life, the more I have felt a feeling that I am alive. If something scares me then I chose to do it. If I am  afraid of rejection, I pushed and continue to push myself to allow that possibility. If I am afraid of loss of the privacy I so cherished when I was married, then I work to expose myself. if I was worried about criticism, then I try to  open myself up to it.

The more I did these things the more I felt my own power. The more I allowed myself to be vulnerable to failure, rejection and criticism the happier and more alive I felt.

I cannot explain it beyond that. But my own vulnerability  terrifies me  thrills me.

Dr Brene Brown calls vulnerability ‘the birthplace of joy, belonging, faith, creativity and love’ – see what she has taught me about the price of invulnerability by clicking here.

my cup of tea

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I had a bit of advice from  an old friend when I was getting married. She said – that after a long day and you plop down on the couch that you should turn to your spouse and say

“Do you feel like a cup of tea?” (insert wine, martini, glass of water)

And he likely will say “yes”

And you should say “Me too.”

And then you should not get up.

Ummm. She is divorced and so am I.

(Actually, I never really took it to heart but I thought it was funny. My father never knew where the cups were kept so I thought it was a perfect antidote)

What advice did you get? Did you follow it?

The  other piece of advice that I got pre marriage, was to hide all purchases under the bed. Never did that either but I cannot tell you how many women gave me that advice- It helps that I hate shopping- click here for my idea of fun shopping

self love

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another good quote for today on self regard (by one with a little less tragedy than MM)by clicking here