I called a friend going through a very new separation the other night on the phone. We talked for a long time.

I could feel her grief and shock.

It was important to her to let me know how different her split was from mine. This is what we do. We fear getting catalogued under the big fat dirty  communal heading of failure.

I remembered some of my own darkness and sadness, although so  remote now as though I had parked it on a distant planet.

I found I could give some decent advice although the scenarios are so very different.

Her voice was shaking when she said “I never planned on growing old alone. How are you adjusting to that, Nancy?”

I said “I don’t have any plans to grow old alone. ”

She now spoke loudly

“Really?” 

I can’t help it. I have to think this way.

Let me know if you think it is dangerous to be so filled with faith.

of all the things not to love about aging one of the best parts is being authentic. My dad used to say ‘I am just getting better at being myself’ and I get what he meant even though sometimes it was as explanation for some of his less attractive qualities. Click here for Being Me- I think you will agree about being you too