Tag Archives: empty nest
so here’s the thing
so here’s the thing
being a good mom means slowly working yourself out of a job
there is a bit of built in obsolescence
they are supposed to leave us
they are supposed to find their own way
they are supposed to make their own life
we would not have it any other way
BUT
what if the day they were born you felt more right than at any other time in your life
what if all the good stuff you found out about yourself was because of them
what if every moment you wanted to do a half way job you saw their example of hard work and determination and bravery and
that example made you try harder
and you wanted them to be proud of you too- so you did your best because they were watching
and when you were less than perfect they somehow loved you anyway
and forgave you
what if every lesson worth learning was learned through them
what if every day was better-SO MUCH BETTER- with them in it- their energy , their humour, their eternal optimism and hope, their natural beauty and earnest questions
but you aren’t allowed to make them stay
I am writing notes to my daughter to try to tell her everything I may have forgotten to tell her before she goes. I feel like I am running out of time. Click here for that stuff and by the way it is lighter and funnier than this
shrinking
I love tradition and one of my favourites is to make this cake that my mom used to make for us when we were kids. It is called a caterpillar cake because of the shape – although I highly recommend introducing it to new young guests before it hits the table as cake “that, while it contains a very distinct caterpillar taste, does not have as many caterpillars in it as you might think “
Keep your serious face on.
There might be something wrong with me that I love that moment- and yet people keep sending their kids to my art camp where this cake is always served.
Anyway, with the big girls, mainly the members of JORO, who eat with us once a week, in a sharing that is truly spectacular- so spectacular that there is practically a wait list at their school of girls begging to come each week- we name the caterpillar after boys of interest or boys of passe compose.
Then we eat it. This may seem barbaric or tribal.
We have been eating this cake together since our kids were really little.
Last week as we were looking into the eyes of this caterpillar cake (and his friend, junior) about to eat him, I looked around the table and thought ‘next year we are losing 1/3 of this group to University’. I got choked up. 1/3 of the noise, the joy, the sorrow, the trouble, the triumph, the tears, the excitement, the energy. All of this tradition.
It is really the smallest things that grab you.
I have rare moments where I feel like I have the great shrinking family. 4 became 3 and now soon 2. I know it is not really true in the way I mostly see my life and I know it is going the way it is supposed to as far as our children moving away but
I dont like things getting smaller.
I like things getting bigger.
Even if it means less caterpillar for me.