An old friend called yesterday and told me about a fabulous trip to Europe she took with her family this summer. She painstakingly planned the whole thing and it paid off. They did it their way and it was a memory for life.
She told me in passing that afterward she said “thank you” to her husband for letting her plan it.
“it is so nice to hear someone in a long and first marriage say this important phrase” I told her. (you know, with no tone, eyeball rolling, sarcasm but big time with meaning)
This was a gift she gave him
It is two sides of the heart that fit in to each other, and compliment each other and feel right together.
She found it at an art show and thought only of him. It was a treasure and she gave it to him to remind him of their love. He will admit he didn’t ‘get it’ but liked it anyway
They do many things together- swim, travel, play bridge, work out at the gym, ski, sit on boards, actively work in their communities, play tennis, collect art and scuba dive.
They are in their late 70’s.
When we had drinks at their place last week- I watched them as I do people who seem happy and happy together. I collect ideas for my life as two. I am very good at one.
I saw the way their long, two seated desk area was built up against the big window facing the ocean.
I looked at it and thought about them sitting a little apart but side by side working on various endeavours,staying active and curious and young, with this incredible view.
I thought about them scuba diving- now – and how that pushes hard against aging.
I thought about the gift of the heart that fits just right-together and apart.
I like what I saw.
Here is an interesting thing; When you meet someone who is split and they look perfectly fine and they seem loveable and whole on the surface and then they talk ever so little but just enough or maybe a lot about their split you do this thing
and it the craziest thing
but you can’t help it
you think- what is wrong with this person that they could not make it work, that they could not sustain it, feed it, nurture it, save it ?
And yet you cannot imagine anyone thinking that of you because you know you are loveable and good and whole and healthy.
But in their quiet they wonder it too.
But in the next moment you realize how we are all the same.