seriously this is not a newsflash

I just got an email from sort of silly, often frisky but sometimes interesting blog  on dating, called 10 signs you are a bad date

if any of this is a surprise to you, you may be living under a rock

BUT, I have added a few notes because I feel it is never totally black & white

BTW, doesn’t this note  also include bad mate, bad mother/father, friend, lover, boss, employee- whatever?

1. you’re late (umm yes sometimes but never by a full day, or a season or a year)

2.you’re distracted (I feel this can be your fault if you are too boring and I need to be distracted because of it)

3.You lie (girl walks into a bar looking for self described tall, dark , handsome for pre arranged meeting only to find not- so- much draped over a his second double scotch- leaves and sends angry email- you weren’t there ! And he knows he has been found out)

4.You’re depressing. Please medicate before first date, at least.

5.You’re intense. Not sure on this one- stable intense is a turn on, unstable intense is very SCARY. Lock -your –door- scary.

could I please be my mother’s daughter and add my #6

#6 MANNERS -Or as dear friend  put it “ Nance, I don’t think I am a snob but when he took his gum out and put it on his dinner plate (to save for after???) I was done.”

7. You are self centered. Ahh yes the monologue. But I must  if the other person is boring. Or if I have had too much caffeine.

8. You are judgemental. – lets face it- only if there is something really obviously worth judging. Then it can’t be helped

9. You’re critical. When you check out my derriere  when I walk away from the table and I can see your face in the mirror, make a nice one. Even better-one of surprise that it looks so good.

10. You are pre-occupied. You are on your BB on our first date? It does not make me think you are important or handsome or badly wanted. Things are looking quite ugly, actually.

Can’t you love a little love of absurdity in your date? Mind you, not the absurd as in ‘can I bring my mother’ OR ‘I collect dead insects on a board in my study’. But a sign that they are still open to possibility. Like you can still see the little boy in them and the world has not knocked it out of sight. Click here for a quote I received this morning that I need to remind myself of when I get discouraged