Over the Christmas break I took my firstborn to her doctor. She had not been feeling right for a few months. She was anxious, sad and very tired. I had offered lists and strategies throughout the Fall, as I am prone to do, of sure fire ways to feel better. Nothing seemed to work. Because she is 20, I drop her at the doctors. I do not go in with her, I do not hold her lovingly on my lap, I do not speak for her, I do not protect her, I do not manage next steps. Instead, I go grocery shopping and hope for the best.