Monthly Archives: March 2010

rsvp

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Here is a little message to our married friends- we want to be with you. Your marriedness does not upset us (in fact some nights we are glad to be alone) or offend us. We want to come to your dinner parties and cottage weekends. We can be as charming, funny and even as helpful as the intact couple we once were, with the added bonus that we never argue with ourselves. We have learned to savour everything, work fast and efficiently and enjoy every minute. We are extremely exciting, good looking and funny.

If your husband feels lonely because we have not brought him a playmate, we will drink beer with him, scratch ourselves and talk about sports  plays. We will crack off colour jokes. We won’t burp, though.

Also, we do not want your husbands, girls. We had one and we want you to keep yours. And we mean this in the kindest way.

So invite us over. Not just when your husband is at a boy’s night/weekend/ work function. We love both of you. Together.

RSVP ASAP

by the way,  -JL,BL,LR,DR,JB,AW,BS,MF,PM,PM,  I appreciate every invitation and the way you always include me.  I remember the invitation to the movies especially-because that is a wonderful thing to just share as a couple and you asked me to join you. I know, I was busy but you asked.

check out slushy theory new post on urbanmoms flying solo

you made up your own job didn’t you

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I run into women all the time -my age- who have had the same mind blowing, mind expanding and, let’s face it, mind numbing experience of both childbirth and the never ending gorgeous task  of raising  human beings. This is, bar none , the most wonderful and impactful work on earth. Our children are our contribution to the human race of our best work . Nonetheless, parenting is  dramatically undervalued, cannot be scientifically  measured, is openly criticized and not terribly appreciated. Many of these incredible women are now working in little retail shops. They always say the same thing to me apologetically, “it gets me out of the house”. How can you go from performing miracles to choosing something that ‘gets you out of the house” ? I have no problem with anyone doing anything but either love it and declare it or leave it.

In many ways, society has told us that motherhood is not enough,  that it is thankless and impossible to save yourself in the process. For me motherhood was the first thing ever in my life that I really felt I did exceptionally (loaded with countless errors and moments of freakish emotion). I have felt  very conspicuous  at times for how much I have truly loved being a mother.  Motherhood created a template for doing other things well. I had a big taste of risk and scary and important and I got hooked. I did not lose myself in it- it, more than anything, helped to define me.

Recently, one of my little artists, said “Nancy, you made up your job didn’t you?” Most of the time the children think I don’t work because it looks like so much fun and lacks the serious deep sighs of adulthood.

Make up your own job. Don’t do anything just to get out of the house. If you love that little shop and being there, admit to it. Loving what you do is worth declaring- whether it is motherhood, accounting, making lattes at Starbucks or putting the snake  down my drain to see why it is clogged. Nobody needs to understand why but you.

Of all the things we could teach our children,  doing what we love and loving what we do is lesson #1.

This is what we want for them. Serve yourself first.

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who am I to complain?

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Being Canadian has never been better. The medals are exciting, 26 in total and 14 golds, more than any nation has ever won at Winter Olympics. These achievements  allowed us to be uncharacteristically patriotic and outside of our  often apologetic, understated, underdog ways.

But the real story is in the spirit of the  athletes. We could just use the last 17 days to exemplify extraordinary human behavior.  If you needed to discuss real “winning” with your children or give yourself a reminder-these past three weeks have given us all we need.

Grounding and Perspective -Alexandre Bilodeau – grounding and family have given him his motivation, constantly  asking himself while growing up with a brother with C.P.,  “Who am I to complain?”  Worth repeating. “Who am I to complain ?”

Perseverance no matter what-Joannie Rochette- finding motivation to go on in spite of deep and fresh grief. “What my mom would have wanted me to do… go after my dreams”

Teamwork-Tessa Virtue and Scott Moir  – innocence , dedication, partnership and best friendship.

Not Giving up –Sidney Crosby and the entire team-It ain’t over till the fat lady (ok, skinny kid) sings

Investing- Private and Public funding- you have to spend to make.

Goals placed on the highest setting- Own the Podium- not everyone loved this, many were embarrassed by it but in the end under promising and over delivering  may not be the only way to motivate and score.

No Apology needed -Smoke ’em on center ice and then smoke them on center ice- did we really need an apology from the Canadian Women’s hockey team? They were perfect working hard and playing hard.

Real Beauty –Jon Montgomery- we could not have scripted a better persona. Self described “goofball”,  part time used car salesman,  graduate of Auctioneering College, clearly can do more than just talk  at high speeds. Describes his sport as 140km on a cafeteria tray with wheels(a $7000 tray, that is). Celebrates his Gold by downing a pitcher-why stop at a cup- of Canadian lager. He is unabashedly himself and he is a beauty.

Timing is Everything  – Life never promises to be fair /ultimate in lesson in sportsmanship- pay attention to this one-Devon Kershaw, in a 2 hour cross country race,  after a lifetime of dedication and  training, comes in 5th at only 1.5 seconds behind the gold medal. When was the last time 1.5 seconds meant anything to you?

The spirit was thick and alive everywhere-the whole world cheering. But in the end the moment when the athlete jumps over the boards to hug their mvp-mom, dad, coach, girlfriend/ boyfriend,  or handicapped brother is the moment that grabs me. They are thankful because of the  huge outer circle of support but they are there and it is sweeter than sweet because of the stronger- than- kryptonite inner circle of support.

I believe.

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