OK OK- no hate mail. I think it is funny. I did not say it was true. In every case anyway.
Here to balance things out-
Are we even now? Sorry I find this stuff funny. Come on, relax a little.
I went to get my haircut last week with my favourite hairdresser.
I have not seen her in 6 months. I really needed a haircut.
She is a beautiful black woman with a shaved and fantastic head- so ironic considering her work.
She spends hours on other people’s heads every day and not a single minute on her own -ever.
( Can I remind you how badly a wasp would look with a shaved head?)
She was married to an Italian man many years ago and they had a beautiful baby boy. Their marriage failed and when they split up she shaved her head. There is an expression in Italian about cutting your hair being synonymous with taking back your identity. She really went for it.
As a single working mom she had little time to spend on her hair and besides this was an act of independence so deep she drew strength from it.
Today there was something different about her. She was alive with joy in a way I have never seen.
She has fallen in love.
One night 6 months ago she went to bed and prayed to God -“if I am meant to be alone – so be it- but if I am to be with another show me a sign.” She then said her favourite prayer from her childhood out loud.
The next day she got a call from man she had met earlier that month. He said he woke up in the night and found himself saying a prayer from his childhood. He said it to her.
She dropped the phone. It was the same prayer.
And so their courtship began.
I told her I was really excited for her.
She said ” I did not expect to find love, you know, given my age” (She is 46)
I said, hair wet and in sink, sink amplifying my words like a wind tunnel, ears filled with water,
” BULLSHIT” in a fairly loud voice.
“No, you know what they say about women of a certain age”
BULLSHIT! I cut her off
All expensive heads in Rosedale hair salon were now looking our way.
She laughed and said “You are right. Just look at me”
Yes just look at you.
I said “You aren’t going to grow your hair now are you?”
My daughter has a new friend, she is from a far off place where life is so different. They are the same age, but their 14 years of life on earth have been worlds apart.
Grace is from Uganda and has been brought here for a better education and a chance to make her life what it should be – full of hope and promise and opportunity. Normally at home she would be sold, married off or forced to work at this age. Education would be over for her.
Good fortune has found her. And us because she has come into our lives.
We spent the other night sharing stories with her- prey predator games at a camp my daughter had just returned from (this is strange that we play this as a game and with her it has been a way life), zip lining for adventure (what if ‘adventure’ was another word for trying to save your life?And it was not anything about fun or thrill?) and girls they know who don’t eat. (So you have much to eat but choose to starve?). Honestly, everything that came out of our mouths was ridiculous.
She got into my car- my somewhat dirty nothing van after we all had dinner together and she said in her evolving english- “I love your car”. I laughed and grabbed her arm. She has a point. It works and for much of the world- it is a luxury.
I said “I am so impressed with you, Grace.”
She did not understand.
I could not find the words to cover what I was feeling.
“You are so BIG to me” came out of my mouth
She made a quizzical face .
I had tears in my eyes. “Grace you are beautiful and amazing.”
She and her siblings watched her father be killed. And yet her hope endures and her spirit is strong.
She said ” In my village where I lived we slept in the bush because we could hide there.”
“People are free here, Grace and that is a wonderful thing. People have problems everywhere, none that quite compare to some of what you have shared, but here we are very free”
The whole planet was spinning now and I was sitting, floating with her on top of it.
We hugged, she said good night and thank you and got out of the car.
She flashed her smile.
I watched her walk away. My eyes were stinging.