I went to a very fun Christmas party a few days ago. This the  kind of party you could stay at for a couple of days-everyone alive and sparling like little ornaments on a Christmas tree. Dancing, carousing, telling secrets, stepping outside of themselves through a combination of the goodness of the holidays looming  and potent crantinis being poured with seasonal recklessness.

So many interesting people filled the room. Years of asking how people are when you see them makes you want to really listen to the answer. Few people have the courage, especially at this time of the year, to answer honestly.

We want to be seen a certain way; happy, engaged, beautiful, alive, successful, wanted. All of  it. Married people have a pressure too- only it is different. I am not sure that  they have to defy gravity, accounting and age the way us single folk do.

Anyway I was catching up with a divorced  friend I rarely see and I was asking her how she was. Really.

She said

” I am ok.”

So honest.

I looked at the expression on her face. Okay was clearly a euphemism for being dragged behind  an SUV on a gravel road.

I said “Tell me”

She told me of her difficulties. She said “you know, I want to answer honestly and quite frankly I am not sure I could fake the emotions of these days, but at the same time I really don’t want to be seen  as the angry beaver.

 Oh yes, we all know if we let the angry beaver out of the cage she may take over.

Brilliant. (Funny). Honest. Raw.

I toast you. You know who you are.

It will get better. xxx

So what happens on a first date? I find almost without exception the man will spill the beans and tell you every single unsavoury or imperfect thing about himself . I mean you are not asking it just comes pouring out- click here to read spilling the beans