I heard myself say so many times since separation that I am twice the person I would have been if I had never been through the difficulty that I had. It is an extreme example of me, to deflect any tone of pity, to see the bonus in the adversity and to rise above the harrowing pull of negativity. Everyone but my mom accepted this.  The first time she heard it, well after I had been telling myself and others this for several months, said “yes dear, but who might you have been in a good and strong marriage?.”